After spending a whole week of one-on-one time with my teenage daughters recently, the overwhelming feeling of really connecting with them was amazing.
Like most parents, I experienced a slight shift in connection when my daughters became teenagers. I know it is a natural byproduct of the transition process of children becoming independent adults and figuring out their place in the world. As parents, we must change, too, and move from a director role to more of a coach. It’s tricky to find new points of authentic resonance during these vulnerable transition times. But it’s always been very important for me to maintain that strong bond of connection with them.
One of the best ways I’ve found is to intentionally seek out things that we both naturally enjoy, whether it’s activities and hobbies or books, movies, and music. I try to plan outings and vacations, and I keep an ear out for what new things they are interested in.
The movie Paper Towns just released, and my girls were excited because they read John Green’s book Paper Towns as well as If I Stay. I thought it would be a great a movie night, and it definitely was! They felt more connected to me as they allowed me to step into their world.
A couple of days after we talked about our movie night, I got an email from Ted Talks on a new talk from John Green, “The Nerd’s Guide To Everything Online.” And since I love Ted Talks, it became a neat experience I would get to share with them! I wanted them to get to know the author, as well as the platform of Ted Talks in general. I wanted them to continue exploring and learning from other great speakers and authors.
I think it’s important that we not only seek out intentional ways to connect with our children and teenagers, but guide them to great inspiration and lead them towards an abundance of learning experiences. These can include week-long vacations such as I got to enjoy with my girls or simple movie nights with great discussion afterwards. It’s important that we never lose sight of the goal of building connection and community within our own own four walls of home, as well as within our neighborhoods, professional teams, and businesses. That’s what makes life feel real and meaningful.
Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life. – Les Brown
